dndogs:

other people’s puppies when you offer them your hand: *gives you their paw*

my puppy in the same scenario:

lesbuchanan:

hyenasnake:

whyisthisreality:

grays-galaxy:

business-pug:

siren-that-sings-owl-city:

wonderlandroundtwo:

amthsts:

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

low-budget-mulan:

pkslider:

slavery:

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids

and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

laviebohemianrhapsody:

millennial-review:

“millenials are so stupid, they can’t perform basic life skills” cries the generation that failed to teach their children basic life skills

kvotheunkvothe:

memyselfandmynonbinaryass:

I don’t think Winry gets enough credit as a genius. Like, automail would need her to understand engineering, robotics, anatomy, and particularly how nervous systems work, and she’s technically a surgeon. She was already a regular helper at Pinako’s shop when she was 11. At 15, she walked into a town full of top automail experts and impressed all but one of them with a rush-order arm she’d made. Then, she took over one person’s shop so thoroughly, her customers won’t even let someone else make the outer casings. On top of that, she read medical books as a child and not only understood them, but retained enough of it to successfully deliver a baby years later even though that had nothing to do with her preferred field. And she didn’t have any help from the Truth.

Winry might not be an alchemist, but she’s a medical and engineering genius and somebody needs to tell her that right now.

sanrxo:

sanrxo:

i’m with the whole “dont force ur children to adhere to gender rules” but please …. let them if they want to …. my whole perception of femininity was warped because my parents pushed me to literally be “not like other girls” & “alternative” but as soon as i embraced pink things and dresses & stuff i felt really good about myself 

i cant tell u how upset i was when we had a medieval day at school & i wanted to be a princess but my parents were like “nah all the other girls would do that u should be a knight” & i felt super bad compared to the others ugh

also like ?? as soon as i started liking “girly” things i discovered i was non-binary & stuff, so for me it’s not so much of a “kids should like things of the stereotypically opposite gender” as it is “let kids like what they like regardless of their gender but dont force them to like things of the stereotypically opposite gender”

memattbe:

Lmao at this lesbian cable worker who said this right in front of Dick Cheney when fixing his internet. What a hero.

stardustparker:

reasons i want to be rich

• to randomly fill up people’s entire gofundme’s
  
• to be able to tip a thousand dollars to a stressed server at a restaurant
  
• to give really good gifts for birthdays that arent just gift cards
• to be able to actually afford my real sense of style
• to pay my mom’s bills and debts

reasons i dont want to be rich

• to hoard the entire fucking planet’s resources and kill off the world’s population slowly